Feeling is a key ingredient in change work. We might be using mainly pictures and language to inspire change in our clients. However, it is the feelings that make the difference. All the visualizations and all the fancy questions in the world are not going to make a difference unless the person FEELS differently.

The reason we use all kinds of other methods, rather than just directly getting the person to feel different, is that feelings usually aren't as mobile. You usually can't just say "Feel different!" People are more cooperative if the feelings are backed up by visualizations and words. If things look different, and we have good explanations for why they must be different, well, then maybe one can allow oneself to feel different. And, the feeling different is the result that we are after.

Visual and auditory information is at higher frequencies than feeling. They are easier to change and are more localized. Feelings are more difficult to change and more general. However, the feelings are the foundation without which nothing really happens. What happens is basically what you feel like happening.

Any work that you do with a client is validated by feelings. If she feels different and particularly if she acts different, then we got somewhere. If she speaks different and she sees different pictures, that is good, but we might not have made changes that will actually manifest.

We can do all kinds of fantastic things in visualizations. We can travel around and find parts of the person that are missing, we can seek out sources of great wisdom and tap them, we can sort out differences with other people, and much more. That we are able to do that is in itself very valuable.

But just because we can visualize something doesn't necessarily mean that it is so. If you can visualize it with feeling, that is a different matter. If you can feel it different than before, then we have something much more real.

Reality is to a large degree what you feel. You might be making nice, pleasant pictures, and saying positive affirmations to yourself, but if you don't really believe it, you don't feel it, and you don't expect that which you are talking about - then it is to no avail.

So, in any work you do, be aware of where the feelings are at. Monitor feelings more than anything. If the client says she is "doing great", well, that is a step on the way, but if she doesn't feel great we aren't there yet. SAYING that one feels great doesn't do it. You need the physical feedback that the feelings have changed. The feedback needs to be congruous. The non-verbal feedback should match what the person is saying.

A person who congruously feels different is about the most finite result you can get.


- Notice for yourself something you are thinking about, hoping for, or visualizing, but that hasn't happened yet. Examine honestly your feelings and expectations about it.

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