Polarity Integration

Polarity Integration is used for situations where the person appears split into two different sides. The two sides might not be apparent at first, but we might discover just that the client has an on/off way of being and that causes some problems. Or, things come in packages that aren't quite working. Like, she only has a lot of energy when she is angry, but she doesn't want to be angry. That is a typical polarity. There will of course be a part of her that isn't angry, that has various good qualities, but is lacking energy.

Our objective is to get the client to recognize that there are two distinct packages and then get her to get them in proximity to each other and get some kind of interchange going. And usually we are aiming for getting them integrated or merged with each other, so that all the qualities are available at the same time, and there is no internal struggle.

Our entry point into polarity integration might be something the client presents at the beginning of a session as a problem state. Usually it takes a little bit of preliminary dialoguing to find out that it is a polarity, so we usually don't know right away.

We might also uncover a polarity while pursuing general subjects in a module. If the polarity is at all central to the issue at hand, it should always be taken up. Polarity integration provides some of the most profound change available, so don't miss a chance to do it. On the other hand, don't do it frivolously on everything. It is intended for actual major polarities that are central to the person's life.

Polarity integration is no rote procedure, it might develop in various ways. However, this is the general outline:

1. Discover that the client has a behavior that is segregated from the rest of her behavior.

2. Start with a loose label for it, but be prepared to change it as we discover more. Keep the labels very broad and general, though. They are designed to divide all of the client's behaviors into two big piles, so don't be too precise.

3. Ask "Is there a part of you that ___?" and get it confirmed.

4. "What does that part of you do?" Get what its general behavior and activity is. Be perfectly neutral and steer her away from negative labeling, just get the activity.

5. "Is there an opposite part to ___?" Get the other side of it. That is nothing particularly to look for, it is simply the complement side, the side that does not do what the first side does, but does everything else, or does the opposite.

6. "What does that part do?"

7. "What are the good qualities of (part A)?", "What is it lacking?"

8. "What are the good qualities of (part B)?", "What is it lacking?"

9. "Are these two parts there at the same time, or are they taking turns?"

10. "If (part A) could talk to (part B), what would it say?"

11. "If (part B) could talk to (part A), what would it say?"

12. Get the two to talk to each other, to answer, to start exchanging information.

13. "Does (part A) appreciate (like, admire, love) (part B)?" and vice versa

14. Encourage them to start appreciating each other more, and to recognize that the other side is a part of itself. Don't push it more than the parts will go along with.

15. Stay in rapport at all times with the side you are talking to. That might take different tonalities, language and anchoring for each one. Be continuously very aware of how they are different from each other.

16. "What could (part A) learn from (part B)?" If they haven't realized it, get them to realize one by one that they are missing something, have them agree to work on getting it, and put their attention on the other side as a place where they can learn it.

17. Negotiate a way where they can start exchanging information and learn from each other.

18. Have them exchange their energies. Visualize that they do so. "Can you see them exchanging information and energy?"

19. If they aren't rapidly starting to blend now: "What is keeping them apart?" Find out what is in between and deal with it. That might be an unpleasant feeling that the client gets if they are pushed together. It can be a good idea to deal with that with incident clearing, and then go back to the integration process.

20. If time seems to be needed or if the client is saying it is happening too quickly or too much, then plan out with her to let these parts continue to cooperate or integrate as necessary, and to check back with them in a later session. She might prefer to keep them apart and just in good communication with each other, cooperating.

21. If full merging seems to be appropriate, continue encouraging it.

22. A way of speeding it up and making it more finite is to ask her to put out her hands, palms up, and visualize a part in each hand, watching them exchanging energy. When she confirms that she is doing that, then ask her suddenly to put her hands together. You do it at the same time. That is likely to provide the impetus for them to completely integrate, if they were just about ready.

23. The merging is likely to happen fairly quietly. There is not likely to be any big realizations about it. Just that any chatter suddenly goes quiet and she experiences a new and different blending feeling. She might feel puzzled and not know what else to say, and that is fine. Don't analyze it.

24. As soon as you notice the parts beginning to blend, shift your language from being segregated between the parts to blending their qualities. Mix up their qualities a little at a time. Describe the qualities of one in the words and tonality of the other. And finally, when they are merging, drop the talk of two parts altogether. Now, address your communication to the client as a whole person: "Now, if YOU have all the qualities of ....., and you can do ...., then how is your life going to be different in the future, now?"

25. Put her attention on the future. Future pace the change, get specifics of how things will work differently.

Polarity Integration is a gentle process that requires precision in language and anchoring. It is not an intellectual process, but more emotional and kinesthetic. You can do it on anybody at any level.

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