UPSET
with another person



1. Write down everything that is wrong about that person. Write down what they are being that is wrong, what they are doing that is wrong, and what they are having that is wrong.

2. Next, write down why each thing is wrong. Imagine telling them all this or even pretend they are with you and say it aloud.

3. Now, write down what you think they would write and say about you, if they were the ones doing the above exercise.

4. Write down how it feels for you to be right in relation to all this wrongness.

5. Write down how it feels for the other person to be wrong.

6. Write down how it feels for you to be wrong in relation to this person.

7. Write down how it feels for the other to be right in relation to you.

Have you noticed that there is a difference in viewpoint of what is right and what is wrong? An upset is caused by a difference in viewpoint occurring, after you thought that there was an agreement. Sometimes this upset occurs because the agreement had never actually been there. This can occur when one person tries to force their opinion on another. Sometimes, one or both people might suddenly completely refuse to see that the other is different, (and that it is OK to be different), and sometimes it is the sudden realization of a difference which had not been seen before.

Right and wrong are viewpoints. An upset occurs when there is a sudden change in what one or both had previously seen as similarity or difference.

"One of us must be right," you say. Of course! You are both right. You have different points of view. We are always right until we see for ourselves that something is more right for us.